i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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