How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
