i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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