My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Houston, we have a blender
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
