I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize