So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
