Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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