you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
