are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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