I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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