Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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