I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Someone shattered a urinal.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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