you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
