He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
