Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
