and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
