This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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