we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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