i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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