He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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