just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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