So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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