toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
