I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize