waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
FUCK WHALES
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize