i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
