So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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