She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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