True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Couch. On fire.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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