The best revenge is premature balding
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
