Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
