I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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