Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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