No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
