You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
