Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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