I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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