no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
