bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
