Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
