Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
