i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
