I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
