If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
