A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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