That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
