I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
