this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
