Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
