someone owes me an orgasm
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
