Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
