Your face is a jimmy john
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
