We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
