Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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