As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
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I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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