I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
