did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize